As a Jewish woman married for almost years to an Italian nonJewish man, this issue of intermarriage seems complex whether we like it or not.

Although the issue for me hasn't been one of race per se, Jews have been seen both in Jewish law (you are Jewish through being born to a Jewish mother) and in terms of the Nazis (who defined "Jewish" as a race) as pertaining to race as well.

When I was in my late teens, I received postcards from a Jewish organization with a picture of a cattle car with Jewish people locked together (you just knew it without explanation). The caption went something like, "If you don't want another Holocaust, DO NOT INTERMARRY!"

Obviously at least on the surface, this had no effect on me, though perhaps it incited my oppositional senses. And although I resented the position represented on that postcard, I have become more aware of the complexities over time. What was also implied in general, was that since there were not that many Jews, Jews become charged with the obligation to make sure the Jewish people continues to exist.

To intermarry as a Jew is to risk the watering down of Jewishness. And I realize that I was taking that risk now and would take it again. I like being Jewish but I can't think into the future at the number of Jews, since I feel that if people don't start acting saner and more protective of each other and of the planet, there will be no people at all.

There is also some discomfort here, in my own situation, looking at the fact that Jews are targets of white supremacists in the US and certainly in Europe.

My point would be that whatever your position is, it may be important to see that there is weight in the decision, there is an impact for present and future generations. There is an implication to the choosing either way.

And as you might guess, I am not sorry for having made my choice, not at all. And I would never begrudge the loving of whomever, of whatever sex and gender for that matter. There are implications yes but strict rules don't solve much at all, to my mind that is.

A psychotherapist, a New Yorker living between Colorado and Italy (in good times) I am passionate about the role of emotions and awareness for evolving,sanity

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